PL, wish I could change title to Hot Mama rocks His World - but didn't happen yet
Saturday H came home after 3:00, I was a little dissappointed; I could have really used his help with garage sale. I assume he wanted to spend some time with OW (remember they work together) since he would not see her until today. Just call me by my new name "Ms. Grin and Bear It".
Got to parents house around 8:00 p.m., had a nice car ride. I did not bring up any R talk.
Sunday the whole family went to a really nice restaurant for brunch. Once we got back to my parents house, H and I went for a 2 hour walk. They live in the country and it was so beautiful. We had a really good time, even H said so. Walked thru a couple of houses that were under contruction and talked about how nice it would be to have enough money to buy one as a second home and spend weekends and summers there. When we came back H wanted to go into town with me, my Dad tagged along and we went bar hopping. Had fun.
Monday morning H went golfing with my Dad, he said he didn't know why my Dad wanted to golf with him since he is such a bad golfer. I said because he loves you and your company.
H left 1/2 hour earlier today, I am suspicious that it is not work related but to spend time with OW. Put up the mental stop sign Mama.
I am now reading "Lies at the Alter, The Truth about Great Marriages" by Dr. Robin Smith (Interesting read although she is not pro-marriage) Here is a paragraph that I highlighted:
"Today I would only want to be with a man who respects and honors me, and whom I can respect and honor. I would want to be with a man wise enough not to lose everything for an addiction. I would never be with someone who needed to choose between me and a substance or another woman. I would only be with a man who is sexually and emotionally faithful because it's part of his value system, a man who chosses to live more in truth than in lies because truth lives in the very fiber of his being." - I feel exactly this way. Problem is, why am I afraid to act on this feeling?
This is how I believe my H might be feeling: "Maybe you'll think the love is gone when it's just the initial intoxication that is diminished. Maybe you'll think you're with the wrong person and will betray your partner by having an affair to get the feeling back, only to discover that you're chasing a feeling that can't last. The initial infatuation that we call love isn't love at all. It is being IN LOVE with the idea of what we think love should be. People leave marriages, have affairs, and withdraw emotionally and physically because they confuse the illusion of love with true love."
I am also reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by the way. Will give my thoughts once I read more.
Left a note for H by his coffee (we do this every day) and I added that I know how awkward it is but we really need to reconnect as a couple, we have so much to lose if we don't and so much to gain if we do. He didn't really reply to that in his note to me, just stated what a nice long weekend it was, wished it wasn't over etc. and signed off "ILY".
