Hi, Lee, I'm back. Looks like you got some real good input from HO and Kent. I have to say I agree 100% with what they're saying. H has told you what he wants, and what he doesn't want. He wants space, so give it to him. LOTS of it. Grant him his wish

I thought he was at least going to give me a chance.

Honey, YOU were the one giving HIM a chance.

To listen and try to meet his needs, too.

He has absolutely no idea what his needs are right now, he still has to figure these out. On his own.


Suggested homework assignments:

1) Sit down right now and write a letter to your H. Tell him that as of now, YOU are undecided on which direction you want the R to go, are not sure that you REALLY want to get back with him. Tell him that he's a jerk (or any other terms of endearment you wish), that you're a great catch, you don't deserve to be treated this way, and you won't put up with it any longer. List as many things you can think of that piss you off about him, things he does and the way he is. Let him know that you don't want to see him, or even take his calls, for at least 30 days. That you need this time for yourself, and you don't want him intruding on your life.

Now that you've done this, put it away and re-read it as you feel the need. Add to it if you want to. Don't send it, it's just for you. Don't answer your phone.

2) For the next 48 hours, act-as-if your marriage is over. Forget all thoughts of reconciliation. He's out of your life, it's time to move on. What are you going to do now with all the time you've spent working on the R? There'll be a lot of time to fill. What are your plans? What have you always wanted to do? Dreams, goals, etc.? What are you going to do tonight, tomorrow, next week? Where do you want to be in a year?

One thing I recently did was get on the classmate.com website and found some old grade school friends I hadn't talked to in about 28 years. We're all catching up with each others lives, and planning on all getting together in the very near future.

Spend some time coming up with these answers. We'd like to hear some of them if you're willing to share them with us. You're a special person, and you deserve good things in life.


JJ

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