Hmmmm. I THOUGHT my W would react the same way. I know you and I have talked about validation before (I think I accused you of NOT doing it, then you corrected me with a perfect example of how you WERE doing it).
Can you post an example (sorry mama if this is a hijack, but it seems to contribute to the overall discussion), as close as you can to the actual words used?
Lemme try...
W: I just feel like our whole marriage is crap. I don't think I ever loved you Muddle and we got married for all the wrong reasons. M: Ok, I guess I can see how YOU would feel that way. W: Why do you have to say it that way? Don't YOU feel that way too? You have to because I know you haven't been happy either...
Basically, is she bypassing your validation in hopes that you will at some point agree with her?
Is that about the gist of a common interaction? She says something extreme and very black/white about your marriage or you and you try to let her know that you can understand why she feels that way? Is that how you validate or do you use other words/methods?
