GH, he was sleeping, but I do intend to tell him today with no expectations. He is not ready for a physical R yet.

Here are some things I highlighted in the book I am currently reading:

*Relax the Urgency about your own position (i.e. intimacy).
Relaxing or letting go does not mean that you give up what you want; instead, it means to give up your anxiety about what you want.

Intention is desire with no attachment to the outcome. you still have your intention, which is a powerful force, and you still have your desire. But you also trust that the best outcome will emerge on its own; it doesn't require you to force or manipulate it. Keep your stron intention, and relax. The more you become attached to one outcome, the more you fear what will happen if you do not get it.

*Wait. Now you have done all you can, and you need to let nature take its course. While you are waiting, you have to be will to live temporarily in the realm of uncertainty, what Gestalt therapist Fritz Perls called, the "fertile void." Your confusion and lack of resolution may be disturbing and difficult, but you have to be willing to live with this uneasy feeling for a while.

*When you listen to another person and then express empathy with what you have heard - even if you don't agree with it, you will be giving that person one of the most important gifts there is: validation. Expressing empathy is the very least we can do for each other as intimate partners.

Besides, when your partner says something and you don't express empathy, or even worse, you argue against the position, he or she will feel unheard and invalidated and will continue to repeat the position over and over.

Expressing empathy could be the single most powerful suggestions in this book. It can de-escalate hostilities, calm tension, create a safer atmosphere to talk. It will feel loving for both the giver and the receiver. It is the simplest action you can take to bring the two of you closer.

Remember, expressing empathy for your partner's position does not mean that you are agreeing with it, or that you are giving in to it in any way. Not at all. Expressing empathy for your partner's position will make it easier for you to express your own, and will make your conversation far more effective.

*Gracefully accept what you cannot change.
Simply stop labeling whatever you don't like a "problem," and start labeling it a "fact of life." It is not your differences but your resistance to difference that causes pain.

Ok, these statements may apply to me and others and may not, so take it with a grain of salt. Over and out for now.