Quote: But what I do know is if the tables were turned I definitely couldn't stand to live with someone who had my every move under a microscope and was interrogating me all the time. Then I think I would be singing "Time for my to Fly".
Well, at the risk of advocating denial, I think you're right. The bottom line is that we HAVE to remember the cornerstone of DB is all about them WANTING to come back to the relationship.
Snooping is all about focusing on the A, and in some way, figuring out a way to force an end to it.
"As if" and all the other tools of DB are all about making OUR personal situation, our SELVES, conducive to the WAS wanting to come back. It's all about making US feel GREAT about ourselves so that the WAS see us as something other than miserable, angry people who make them afraid. We want them to see confident, safe people who want to love them and forge a new relationship, better and stronger than before, founded on the idea that each individual WANTS to do for the other, not NEEDS to.
