Quote: You keep swinging WILDLY back and forth about all this
Do you see how crazy I have become!!! And yes, I am tired of all of the lies. I guess I did set some boundaries but if you resolve issues by force instead of cooperation, you play a tug-of-war with each other's well being. The name of the game is survival. The motivator is fear and resentment. I have to end this vicious cycle. I think if I just fight hard enough, then somehow this will get resolved, in my favor. But by trying to come out on top, I create opposition against myself. H doesn't like coming out second best any more than I do.
He won't "admit" to anything. He says he doesn't want to hurt me, which to me means he does still have some feelings for me. My H is a very obsessive/compulsive person. He is also a 1 woman man, was even when we met, he was dating someone and decided that he had to break up with her before starting a R with me. Clearly the OW has his heart (and his body) right now, which would explain the lack of intimacy between us.
The secret cell phone is a clear indicator that he is having a R with her. If she were just a friend or coworker there would be no reason he couldn't talk to her on his regular cell phone. Right?
Quote: How do you know all this stuff about him just waiting until he can afford to leave.
He plays the lottery every single day and spends at least $20 a day on scratch off tickets. This tells me he is desperately trying to win big money so he can take care of his financial obligations and fly the coupe with her.
Quote: He is SAYING all the right things,
I think is he saying these things to pacify me and buy him some time.
Quote: All I can say, is after all this time, don't fall victim to your own fatigue and mistake it for 100% proof that things are going to hell in a hand basket.
All I can say, is this is good advice but I cannot continue to live in dreamland. I must also be prepared for the worst.
