What CLEARLY defines him as still "heavily" involved with OW. How do you know all this stuff about him just waiting until he can afford to leave. You keep swinging WILDLY back and forth about all this, I suspect, based on the same "evidence".
Is it POSSIBLE that you are simply tired and need a break?
I am really confused. H said he would go to counseling. He said he wants to stay married. He is SAYING all the right things, and in one case, the MC, his is actually agreeing to take action. Take him up on this.
The way I see it is that you stepped up and set some conditions, boundaries, that you needed to have in place for a relationship to continue between you and him. He accepted those conditions and now you are 100% sure his is full of $hit, which BTW, he may very well be.
My point is that it seems like you could NOT have made an appointment for MC and had him back out, thus going against what he said he'd do.
For some reason, maybe some snooping you did not tell us about, you are now convinced that he lied to you and is just stringing you along until the time is right. I don't see that...yet. I know it COULD be true, but then again so could his sincerity.
As for the "not physically attracted to you" part, well, as we KNOW, that can change in time. He just went through (or is likely still going through) a period where he either didn't see you as a "sexual" being because of his, to use your words, tunnel vision for PW, or he forced himself to deny any feelings he had for you. In either case (oh, and I accept that it IS possible that he is just not attracted to you for "whatever" reason) time is on your side. We both know that attraction can build over time. Look at people you work with, or see everyday at school, the market, where ever. In the beginning, they were "ok" but as you get to know them, spend time with them, they become more than that.
Point is that he is talking out of his a$$, trying to justify his past actions, or his current ones. I think you are doing GREAT in not taking that personally and keeping your self confidence high.
All I can say, is after all this time, don't fall victim to your own fatigue and mistake it for 100% proof that things are going to hell in a hand basket.
