I did really good last night and this morning. I so BADLY wanted to talk to him and tell him how I feel. But I realize NOW is not a good time IF he is still involved with OW.
OK, I'm going to go out on a limb here, but what if his "LIES" are not lies at all, I only perceive them to be. I'm assuming things, but I could be totally wrong. Just a thought....
Like both of your H's mine does NOT like to be told what to do either. And yes I agree, that if he is involved with OW it is an escape from reality, hopefully something that will lose it's appeal soon. Is he P/A? I definitely think so. I can't help him right now but I have plenty of things that I can improve about myself. This in itself will require using all of the energy I have been putting towards my M.
He probably is watching and waiting for me to pounce on him with a "talk"; like this morning I was up very early reading in the basement, when he came down to workout I'm sure he thought "Oh s%*t, she is gonna start in on me now", but I didn't. My reward, was a really long and meaningful hug goodbye as he went to work. See, thinking before speaking really works!
I'm going to go back and re-read the last few posts regarding P/A so I can get a better handle on it. Also, as OT suggested to me in GH's thread I need to start thinking of myself and treating myself as a sexual being - which for so many years I did not do, I thought of myself only as someone's Mom. I did order some lingerie and things the other day and wanted to tell H this too, but I kept my mouth shut and didn't share the information with him - a definite 180 since I tell him EVERYTHING. I feel I can have my little secrets too, right?
Anyway lot's of homework to do, will keep you posted and if you have any specific suggestions, please send them this way.
