Glad to see you are back with us today. All I can say is that we all have these times when everything seems to pile up on us. I went through something yesterday and am starting to pull out of it.
I just think that if you embrace the idea that you are living your life by YOUR terms, doing things that will benefit YOU first and your R second, then you will be able to last this out longer.
Remember, you are choosing to be where you are. You said it yourself, and you should understand that as a woman taking responsibility for herself and her happiness, you suffer the consequences AND reap the rewards.
As for this car business, I don't think I understand. This is a car YOU picked out and YOU bought? Why is HE driving it at all? Tell him you want to have your car at home, where YOU can drive it when you want. You don't have to be angry, just clear about what you want. It seems like you "let" him drive it and then got pissed when he did exactly what you KNEW he was going to do. Oh, and BTW, you still don't KNOW he was lying do you?
Also, the REO Speedwagon thing seems a little passive/agressive to me, really as does all the rest of the day's "stuff". You clearly meant to send him a message with that song. Would it not have been better just to either keep the song to yourself OR just express your feelings over what happened, maybe telling him that it felt to you like he may have taken OW for a ride in your car and if that was the case, how much that hurts.
I am not really suggesting a big R talk but if you are going to be passive/agressive anyway, and let him know you're upset but not tell him exactly why, then you may as well have the R talk.
Look, don't take that the wrong way. I am the same way. I do that crap ALL THE TIME and it's because I don't communicate my feelings well. As soon as I get them out, I get defensive and all hell breaks loose. I know how it is, but I also know that it does great damage because it undermines real, effective communication and in the end, that's what we want to foster.
It seems like a contradiction, DBing says NO R talk but the world says that open, direct communication is the key to any relationship. I think, as I have said before, that the no R talk part of DB is just a vehicle to get us past the times when we are almost totally incapable of GOOD communication because of our emotions. Once we are in a better place, i.e. maybe where you and I are, it may be time to open those doors a bit and start shifting into "direct" mode.
Mama, you are doing fine. You are allowed to get upset and have bad days. Just keep looking around your "little" world and see what you are fighting for. YOU are fighting for that and YOU will be better for it no matter what.
