Whew- things are going better! Since H "put the brakes on" a couple of weeks ago, it was bumpy- me asking a lot of questions, pursuing. Was depressing, felt like square one. Then this last week and a half, I stopped, changed tack and I am seeing the baby steps and catching him doing a lot right. It has brought things around again. I'll tell you the baby steps:
1. He's really rolled up his sleeves to work on himself- read After the Affair - twice. Bought some other books and asked me to borrow my DB book cause he couldn't find it.
2. He has been doing 90% of the initiating contact, email, calls and visiting.
3. He jumpoed in a bit as support for me this week while things at work were really stressful.
4. He has asked me (twice) to reserve a couple of nights next early next week for him to tell me how he's feeling and what he's doing.
5.I'm a bit more relaxed, have lowered my expectations and not bugging him to talk OR. And I tell him I notice and appreciate the efforts. (much less backsliding )
6. We're back to the physical affection (lots of hugs) and smiling more with each other.
7. We've both been making more effort to diffuse when things start to spiral.
Good stuff, yes? I really don't know what to expect from the conversations next week, but I didn't jump at this, left it totally up to him. He seems to think they are the "next step". I'm just glad there IS a next step. Don't want to return to the drama of the past few weeks. Yuck.
)
