You know we are two peas in the same pod with this intimacy stuff. I am *this* close to having what will likely be a bad R talk because she still seems really reluctant to move forward AT ALL from this stagnant place she is at. Like you, I just can't seem to figure out just what more time is going to do for W. She doesn't seem to be DOING anything to "improve" the situation and seems to have also settled back into the same routine that got us where we are in the first place.
The only good news is that I can take solace in the fact that I am changed and because of that, our R CANNOT be the same as it was before. My 50% is different now, if not all good, and so I am still counting on that to eventually bring her around.
I AM seriously contemplating a R talk but like what happened with your H, I will likely just be told to wait some more...hmmmmm...more waiting, just what I want...or not.
Hang in there and just decide not to pursue anymore. I am about at that point, even though I think my lack of passion and "pursiut" of the GOOD variety (as opposed to the "me want sex", cave-man variety) was a reason things deteriorated. I am thinking that I tell her why I am pulling back (just so she doesn't think it's more of the same) and then go "dark" at least in the sense of NO physical contact.
I have NO freaking clue if that will work, but it IS different and that's what we're all about here, right? It's about being "different" than we were before.
On the other hand, there is the option to just wait...and wait...and wait. For now...I wait. Tomorrow I will decide what to do the next day.
