Seeing them in sadness, guilt and remorse is hard. Less than 1 week after H came home, something came up, and it was clear to me that H was so fragile, wanting so badly to forget what he did, and feeling the pain. He said that he felt he ruined my life and felt so guilty. Then he cried....he wailed, loud horrible sobs, and I cried too. It was horrible for both of us, so much time in our M wasted and destroyed. It was cathartic for both of us. You want that moment of them feeling guilt and the apologies, and when it comes, you realize that you can't think of their sins without thinking of your own, the pain of your M, the great loss of it all.
Somehow, we push forward to put it all back together. It's seeing the vulnerable, fragile human side in a person you love that makes it somehow all tolerable, forgiveable, and worth it all.
