Hi MamaBear, I have been waiting for your new thread, and it appears just in time Hang in there mama! I know it is frustrating when the H's backtrack, do stupid things we don't like etc. Based upon my results the past two days, all I can say is DB and manage your emotions! My H is not making good decisions, but it has totally worked against me to spotlight them with him. Do your best to be cheery, find something good he has done or is doing to focus on, or at the very least, manage some silence when you want to lash out, and to do something good for yourself.

Also, when someone drinks, they are not really present - literally their growth and development stops whenever they are drinking. In other words, if someone drinks often enough they can stay adolescent forever Try to encourage the behavior you want to see by focusing on that only. Ignore as much as possible what doesn't work. [I guess I should read and heed my own advice sometimes too...]

And next time you go to the mall, I prescribe double the shopping for you. See if you can trade some babysitting with someone and go with a girlfriend or at least without the kids. I can tell you my new thong underwear has done wonders for my self esteem even if I'm not getting any action. Just knowing it's there... I, like you, spent years letting my children come first. All that happened for me in that regard, is that my H saw me as a mother but not as a lover. You can do this Mama. BTW, I read your thread all the time. I know it is really hard sometimes. Really. But, we are with you, and I am definitely rooting for you.

PositivelyListening
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When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller