I spent today trying to figure out why she has a sudden interedt in going to personal counselling. She has not suggested Marriage counselling. I am kind of at a loss. as to her motive. I figure one of several possible things happened the morning after I told her I want to move on. By the way she was oh so very confident that night that OM would leave his wife for her.
1. She told OM I wanted to give her divorce and she didn't get the expected reaction from him. Now she wants to stall me until she sees if he follows thru with his promise. (I beleive this is the nost likely scenario)
2 She really wants the divorce but is now realizing all the hardships with the kids, explaining to family and friends and finance troulews she will be faced with and wants to go to councelling to maybe learn how to deal with these things)
3 She is very sincere about her desire to save the marriage.
I think the latter is least likely because even thought she wants to seek councel that we still may divorce and that she still feels the same as always about OM
She has never actually asked for the divorce. I have asked her in the past if she wanted one and the answers has always been "I don't know what I want" so I think really shocked her when I told her I wanted the divorce and that I hope she is happy in her new life with OM. I think she belived I was truly afraid and when I would get upset she could just comfort me a little and I would go back to being submissive and she could get back to having the cake and eating it too.
She was also very surprised whne the strong and confident man I have always been returned. She was stunned to learn that during the past 4 months I had not just been sitting around feeling sorry for myself but had been preparing for the worst by talking to lawyers, realtors, and had done all my homework regarding the sitch.
My DB coach has made a great suggestion for me on how to approach and answer her question and get the answer I need to see before I make my decision about putting the divorce on hold with out making me totally volerable again a without pressuring her at all.
I need to do some research on it so it will take a few days I'm sure before I approach her on it.
