Yes, you're right. Timely advice indeed. I hope you don't mind if I need to post often right now. JJ- Is most of your story on this thread or somewhere else- I want to go and read it again.
You will think this is odd after the weekend's drama but he called yesterday (before I posted) to "connect" and ask me to a movie. Being the Anniversary and all- and wanting to at least set a better feeling in, I agreed. We did, and I was calm, happy as I could be after all the drama and we had a really nice time (surreal). The extent of the OR talk was that he said he was feeling emotional too, that he was sorry he hurt me. I said that I realize that we've been moving too fast, and I just want to concentrate on enjoying each other when we spend time together. He said he wants that too and looked like he was going to cry and he said "can we go really slow" (again). I said yes. And that was it.
Was a really nice night, if not weird. Afterward, he said he wants to do more of that stuff with me.
Now the thing going through my mind is that I am taking a risk - pulled a 180 maybe- kind of ignoring what he said on the weekend, and assuming we are only taking a step backwards to "no committment of getting back together- no expectations", assuming that because of his confused state, the alien was making a rash move to get out of a tough spot. Rashness was his middle name in the last 9 months- something that helped cause all this. I am also kind of assuming that if I give the space he needs and can detach, remove the pressure- maybe this will have just been a bump, and a month (0r 6) this could be a different story altogether. Are these safe assumptions????
The risks are that I could be decieving myself and that he might be stressed that I didn't "get it". My gut tells me he's a little relieved after last night.
So now I have to back off- and detach- all that stuff you and Zelda said. I have a little problem with that in that I am feeling REALLY lonely - for him especially(I'm sure you know that feeling). And really depressed.And he will surely ask how I'm doing when he does reach me, which is tough to answer.
Confusing time. Wishing again that I could run away even for a few days.
