I'm trying to get some perspective, but it's hard. I have been thinking about it and I really think he loves me and WANTS to be close, he just doesn't know HOW to be without feeling pressured. "Pressured" is what is keeping him paralyzed. He thinks he has to do this black and white thing. Maybe I have been making him feel there's no other way. I can see over the past few weeks we have jumped a bit into the work of OR, too soon.
I see now that it's much better to accept that we can't know all the answers than when we try to force them. Not to stay in limbo, but to accept that only time will tell. I am learning a big lesson in that today. Like you said- long term goals, as apposed to short term fixes.
He called right after I posted here. I told him I am not questioning what he wants for himself to alleviate pressure, but that I think that there might be other solutions - maybe we could just step back to the way it was even a couple of months ago. Just be able to spend time, not WORKING on OR (NO MORE OR TALKS) but ENJOYING each other. I have to adjust my expections in order to do this, I know this. He said that's why he called, because he really cares and wants me in his life, and that maybe we can just take it REALLY slow- really TINY steps.
I am not going to analyze what that means, just be glad for reprieve. Yes, I will give space. I promise. I have done it before, I know I can again. Starve the alien out.
