Lee - What would have normally done in the past when it came to your anniversary? Would YOU have planned it out, or let him do that? Did the 2 of you do something that reminded you of past pleasurable memories, or would you do something to create new memories? Did you share this day with others, or have it as a private time? I guess what I'm trying to get to is maybe doing something that's different from what you'd normally do. The waiting around sucks and IS very frustrating, almost like a high school thing. Maybe you could take the bull (or is it bulls**t?) by the horns, and make plans to do something different, something fun and/or daring. Something to get his curiosity going about what you've been doing lately, making him wonder about how many ways you've really changed. Maybe go ahead and make some plans for something YOU want to do, and invite him along. If he comes with you, that's great! If not, well, that's his loss.
I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. Be understanding of him, but stay out of his drama, and don't make it TOO easy for him to not make a choice. That's not fair to you, you deserve much, much better. Stay unavailable and mysterious as much as you feel comfortable with.
I have a sense that you're having too many OR talks. Let these things go a time or two, avoid these talks at all cost for a while. Maybe tell him you don't want to talk about this right now, that you'd rather just enjoy your time together. Don't do too much too fast, it'll screw things up. Doesn't sound like he's ready for you yet. Make him beg to talk about your R, don't make it too easy.
Maybe the 2 of you can agree to set a time frame on when to talk about OR, OW, and that kind of stuff. Maybe agree not to bring up talk about stuff for 1 week, 3 weeks, or ???? Seems like your time is spent wondering who's gonna make the first move at your talks, how you're gonna deal with the pain, what you're gonna say, who's gonna comfort who, on and on. Relax!! Try enjoying each other's company for a while, create a comfort zone. Build the foundation back a bit first before getting into all the crap. Remember that time can be your friend. Remember long term goals versus short term satisfaction. If things work out the way you really want them to, you'll have plenty of time. I would suggest to quit planning, and start living and healing.
You're too good of a women, make him work some more to get you back. I have a feeling he senses you'll always be there for him, and may be taking advantage of that fact. Keep mixing things up on him, make him worry about your dedication to him a bit.
Hope you have a great weekend, my friend. You deserve it. You're doing great, don't fret, don't worry!!
