Thank you so much. I really need to hear this today. I will need to prepare myself for him to feel guilty and me to feel anger. Could be that either one of us retreat afterwards, but talknig about doing it has brought us closer a little.
Loss- that too. I have been feeling it more lately, because of our anniversary next week.
I am having trouble not being impatient to go faster, simply because we are not living together and it's so discouraging to not know if he'll ever want that again. He doesn't talk about his intentions often, and I understand why- he says he wants to under-promise-and-over-deliver unlike before.
I fantasize about him telling me he is sure he wants to recommit. I wish he'd ask me to come home. I know this is way too soon.(Knowing is half the battle.) It's just that when we have a difficult moment, I get more anxious, thinking he'll just give up. It's really an issue for me now. I'm not afraid of the hard work, but it would make my part of forgiving easier if I knew he was committed to the work.
I don't even know that he isn't. It's all pretty confusing.
Anyway, I can understand your obsession with knowing the "why's" and the details of what has happened between them does scare me a little.
