DEVELOPMENT: In my reading Torn Asunder by Dave Carder, he states that if you can rate as little as 20% of your M at level 4 or level 5 (on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the best) you have a better than 93% chance of making your M better than ever. I was e-mailing with my W tonight and then she let me call her b/c I told her I am not the best typist (I'm not the worst either ). We went over some child stuff and then she told me that she wanted me to answer quesions about my A honestly, so I did. She also asked me how she is going to trust anyone again? I told her that I was truly sorry for hurting her ability to trust so badly and then I reassured her that she would be able to trust again, but that trust would need to be earned. I told her more info from Torn Asunder, that Trust = CB/T, which means Trust = Consistent Behavior over Time. I then asked her if I could ask her a question. I asked her the question about the % of our M our marriage over time that she would characterize at level 4 or level 5. Her answer? 20-30%. WOW.
Now I know that none of this information means a thing if I can't get my W to read/listen to/buy in to the information from Torn Asunder. If I am able to at least get her to soften her stance and hesitate on our D path, we will be able to DB/DR our M back to health.
THAT would be God's plan. THAT would make all of us happy, healthy and whole. Thanks for listening.
). We went over some child stuff and then she told me that she wanted me to answer quesions about my A honestly, so I did. She also asked me how she is going to trust anyone again? I told her that I was truly sorry for hurting her ability to trust so badly and then I reassured her that she would be able to trust again, but that trust would need to be earned. I told her more info from Torn Asunder, that Trust = CB/T, which means Trust = Consistent Behavior over Time. I then asked her if I could ask her a question. I asked her the question about the % of our M our marriage over time that she would characterize at level 4 or level 5. Her answer? 20-30%. WOW.