Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages by Barry and Emily McCarthy
I had ordered this book BEFORE my W ever mentioned her concern about how our sex life evolved into a Low-Sex M and that her desire for me had dwindled causing the deterioration of our sex life, intimacy and closeness.
Mind you, our previous MC had pinpointed this for my W as a "Madonna complex." We both looked puzzled. Our MC explained to my W that she was interested in sex when the relationship was new, tittilating, exciting, "jr. high"-ish...not mature. When the relationship matured, her interest in her mate died.
We had great sex in the beginning. She got pregnant early and felt "trapped," in her words, being married and a mother. I always had the notion that she wanted to be single and childless. I don't live inside her head, but I watched all of the actions. Our MC told my W that she is certainly worthy of a mature love.
I know my W felt the whole thing was an attack on her. She wanted out working with that MC because, IMO, my W was looking for our MC to "side" with her to D me, as she often told me she wanted to do.
Anyway, when my W was really talking with me the other night, she mentioned a fear that our sex live and her lack of desire for me would not improve. I told her that I had just received a book that she might be interested in and she said she was interested. I told her I would loan it to her.
Two things have happened since then (or not happened). 1) She has totally backed off from that positive conversation coming back to HER senses apparently, And 2), she has made not mention of the book.
I have had two responses to my question, both of the telling me to let it die. That makes sense to me. I can't force her to SEE God's will and plan and I can't force her to follow His will and plan either. I know I need to let go and let God. My life is in God's hands and I only pray that He will allow me to see His plan and encourage me to be the man that He has always intened for me to be.
QUESTION #2 Should I broach our last positive conversation with my W again? I most likely already know what the right action to take is.
I know she is an intelligent woman. I know she remembers the content of the conversation and what she expressed to me. Knowing what she is up to tells me that she is running from her own thoughts and feelings about what is right and righteous because her behavior is not sitting right in her head. spirit and heart. I guess it all comes back to the fact that I CANNOT maker her see God's will and plan and even if she saw HIs will and plan I CANNOT make her act on them. Sounds like I am answering my own question, but I would like input from others if you all would be so kind.
Stand up or stand down? Please chime in and help me.
