I don't want to be looked at by my W as smooth. Amy, I know you meant this as a compliment for apparent progress, but it really stuck with me as, perhaps, a way that my W may be looking at me. That is, as a smooth performer, and not just ME. Oh, well, time will tell what the future holds for me and us.
Keep remindin' and encouragin' me to continue DBin'.
OH GOOD GRIEF! Yes, I meant it as a compliment so don't you dare go letting the enemy twist my words. Stop sweatin' the small stuff and press on through the crap that gets thrown in your path. Let me tell you something that got thrown in my path. My D10 was exposed to some VERY inappropriate sexual behavior at the hands of her half-sister who lives with my husband's parents (and him). This occured when D10 spent the night with her father several times over last summer. She first came to me in November - about a month into my efforts to reconcile. She came to me with much more detail in February, when I was neck-deep in DBing. The details were such that I knew I had to take action and it could result in my marriage being destroyed. I was willing to take that risk for my daughter's sake. Fast forward to now, D10 is well-adjusted and in counseling, H has met with her therapist and is supposed to be seeking therapy for SD16 as well. But don't you think for one minute that I didn't come thisfrigginclose to throwing the baby out with the bath water. I did, but through much prayer and reflection I found I could save my daughter and continue to DB.
What I am saying to you is that when things get thrown into your DBing path, think long and hard & seek the Lord. There is always a right way and a wrong way to handle things. We can not allow our flesh to determine what we do. We walk by faith and not by sight.
There's a time to stand up (like you are doing to save your marriage). And a time to stand down and just trust God, Who wants your family saved even more than you do.
