I once again have to agree with the wise ol' grasshopper here. HH, I've been following your sitch pretty closely, but really haven't posted very much because you really seem to have a handle on things. Mainly, I love your PMA and your committment to loving your W from a distance until such time that she sees her way back to you. You nailed the R converstation dead on. Honestly, I believe lesser men would have just decided that enough was enough and moved on....but you stay focused.
Keep up the great work and keep posting on your progress.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Quote: we went to a mediator not an arbitrator. Don't know if that makes a difference
P.S. don't know if this was already answered for you, but a mediator is definitely different than an arbitrator. You are correct in that in mediation, the parties are mainly working together, with the guidance of the mediator, to come to a amicable resolution. The mediator is basically the guide to this resolution. An arbitrator, on the other hand, is more like a judge in that, while impartial, will listen to both sides and make a determination as to the result. The parties do not come to an amicable resolution on their own.
For what its worth.....
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Thank you, my friend. You did much more than sic Amy on me. You provide your own insight, perspective, well-respected direction, advice and encouragement.
I will try to figure out the which "over the top" behaviors you were talking about and temper them. Most likely my "over the top" behaviors were my efforts to improve my own PMA, not to directly persuade my W. I certainly do not want to do anything to push the D process along any faster and make it reach teh final and undesirable conclusion that I am trying to DB.
I am striving to give my W the time and space she needs to resonsider the path she chose so hastily (hastily IMO).
Thanks again for your encouragement, GH. I always look forward to your take on my sitch.
HH, the "over the top" stuff I am referring to is mainly this "I'm the MAN and I won't let her do this kind of thing to me" that seems to be followed closely by some chest thumping, lol. No, really, you are doing GREAT and I think even some of the "over the top" stuff is JUST your way of communicating your enthusiasm and PMA. Please, don't temper ANY of it right now.
Again, TY my dear friend. If my enthusiasm came across that way to YOU, I am in danger of it coming across that way to her if I am not supremely careful, and I don't want that. I appreciate your honesty. You are a sobering breath of fresh air, GH. Thank you.
My last word on this is that I was only ever slightly concerned because no matter what else Amy or anyone says, we ALL have to remember that YOU are the WAS here, and as such, a CERTAIN amount of humility is USUALLY expected. That said, your sitch is sorta unique and I think you have earned the right to cross the line a few times.
