We went to a mediator. Many of the responses to the court read "rights to be determined." I suppose I just need to call the mediator to figure out what is really a moot point. OR, maybe I should quit giving this sh*t mental energy and focus elsewhere, like on my children.
My good friend told me that at this point he recommends me talking to her when there are NO negative emotions involved to highlight the positive interactions we have had lately and tell her again that I do not want our M to end, that we have enough of a M to rebuild it and make it better and more fulfilling than ever. I hesitate to do this because I believe she knows how I feel. Additionally, I KNOW that she is not ready to forgive me because she told me recently (scroll up to my previous post, if you would like to refer back to that conversation).
Anyway, I really feel that I would only be doing more damage to an extremely fragile M. But then again, I WAS served yesterday, so I'm thinking, "What have I got to lose?" My true thoughts are that I still have a M to salvage. I just don't know that I'll ever know when to quit hoping. As you can probably tell, I am just ramblind cuz I am huring badly. That kick in the n*ts is still smarting.
Oh well, it is what it is and I am where I am. Right? I need to focus on myself, my relationship with Christ, GAL, my children, my M, and my love (from a detached distance) for my W.
If you have room in your prayers, I would greatly appreciate being including in them, along with my W and my family.
