This morning, I called repeatedly to contact my D5 before she went to K. Finally, my W called back to say the "we" overslept. I responded with that's OK, I am glad everyone is fine and that's all it was.
My W then proceeds to tell me that she and her GF are thinking they want to be friends again. This is the same GF that she had a HUGE blowup with about 6-8 months ago. Here is the background. We lived next door to a couple who have a D5 who is 2 days older than my D5. This couple raises their child in a way that both my W and I do not agree with. Their child is nasty and whiny. Plus she uses her earsplitting scream to get her way often. Anyway, we were watching this little girl and she started acting up and would not calm down even after repeated attempts by both my W and I to calm and reassure her. Finally, I went to my W and told her to call the mother of the child and pick her up. My wife felt bad about calling the mother of the child to pick her up.
The mother showed up and "rewarded" her childs unruly behavior with a promise of shopping. She rewarded us by telling us that we were neglecting her child and then left abruptly w/ saying bye.
A few days later my W was playing in her Bunco group and this neighbor was there and the two of them go into it with my W telling the neighbor if she didn't move my W would kick her A. Not nice. Anyway, that ended the friendship, for then.
Fast forward to today. I get the call about she and the ex-neighbor wanting to be friends again. My W then asks me if it would be OK to get the girls together to play. I said absolutely not. I have already told you that our D is 5 and that I am her father, not her friend. I will make decisions that I deem best for her. I also told my W, if you want to "throw yourself under the bus" by rekindling this messed up "friendship" that is your business. YOU are an adult. I will not condone you throwing our child under the same bus with you.
I proceeded by telling her that your sister will tell you NOW that she raised herself and is still pissed about that fact today. I also told her that YOU have always told me if you are acting in a way that YOUR mother did (according to my W) that I should let her know. I told her, you ARE acting like your mom.
I followed that up with, if you are tired of being a parent and doing what is right and in the best interests of our children, let me know. I told her that I will NEVER tire of being a parent and keeping their best interests at heart. My W insisted she is NOT tired of parenting. I told her, I don't want to hear that my wishes are disregarded or undermined.
My wife said she had NEVER done that. I told her I vividly remembered an INCIDENT when she was looking to me for approval for an action that I wholeheartedly was against. I told my W that she basically said F you! and figuratively put her hand up in my face denoting that she would do what she wants when she wants and went out and did it anyway. She was accompanied by her "Marriage Cancer" good friend.
Talk about disrespect to your S. THAT incident was last summer, b4 we conceived our S. Nice! <--HEAVY on the sarcasm. My W responded by saying I only went against you ONCE! It's amazing to me that she even recalls her behavior towards me.
All of this most recent BS about getting our D5 with our ex-neighbors' D5 is after my W had previously asked my to call our ex-naighbor (H) to get our daughters together to play. Mind you, this is during their feud. I told her then, absolutely NOT. I don't want my D impacted by that child's behavior. I also told my W that child's behavior is parents' fault, NOT the child's. My W told me that our D was going to be upset with me and I told my W, I don't care. I am her father, NOT her friend. I'll take her love for me as she grows up over being happy with me because I refuse to provide boundaries, guidance, structure and love. I still don't think my W gets it. She wants to be "buddies" with our children. Big mistake. The will create friendships all their lives. The only get 1 mom and 1 dad.
Well, I gotta run, late for an appointment. Any thoughts would be appreciated, and I didn't get a chance to proofread.
