Thank you for your insight. I really must figure out how I am going to detach from my W. Watching her while she is going about her business is hurtful to me. I truly believe that everything is going to work out for the best, but watching her go thru what she is needing to go thru is painful for me to watch. She is clearly still in the "I'm pissed at you and going to hurt you any way I can" stage. Sucks to be me to endure this stuff. But...I am strong, I have faith, and I believe.
NOT doing more of the same is the ONLY way she is ever going to come to realize what being a single mother is like BEFORE we end up D. I am no longer afraid of changing my course. If I continue on in the manner I have been, I am condoning the D she wants. I don't condone it. I want to DB my M. I want to keep my family together. I want to reconcile and rebuild my M.
I know that I need to let go and let God. I think that means I need to detach from her. One of the most perplexing things about my W is that she sent me an e-mail telling me she is mad at me because she needs more help with our children. Amy put it best, she is delusional. I truly want her to talk with her D friends and compare notes of husbands and ex-husbands and their behavior towards the Ws and ex-Ws. I KNOW I am a fantastic father. I KNOW I have bent over backwards for my W, even during this trying time. I know, I know, stop my doing more of the same. I am working on that.
RB, I think you are correct. Me suddenly being "absent" for two weeks just might be what is needed to bring reality to the forefront of her mind. My problem is leaving my 9 month old S for that length of time. Guilt is what makes me hesitate from doing that.
I suppose my other option would be to take my S & D with me for 2 weeks. Of course, I would need my W's OK to do that. Thank you for the food for thought though. I have been racking my brain about what exactly I can do to shake things up w/o disturbing the hornets nest.
BUT, perhaps we are at the point that disturbing the hornets nest is what is necessary?? We will see. I pray and I wait.
