This morning my W calls me and TELLS me come and get your kids. I have to go shopping and it would be easier if I didn't have to take them. I responded that I know it would be but had to check with others to see if I could change my plans. Since I didn't call her right back she called again and left a message (I didn't click over to answer her call , see I am getting stronger and better). I called her back to listen to her being pissed at me because I keep changing my mind about my schedule with our children.
Now, in my original thread I changed my schedule ONCE in the past 3 1/2 months. She has constantly asked me to adjust my life/plans to accomodate her. Until recently, I had done so without any hesitation. Now, I am finally "growing a pair" and being gently assertive in saying no and it pisses her off to no end.
She asked me when I would pick up our children today. I told her I did not want to be there at 3:30. I had previously told her I would get them at 5:00 and she said I needed to get them at 3:30 to accomodate her needs. I told her that since I am doing her a favor by taking our children on her weekend I would do my best to get them by 4:00. She then blew up and was indignant that I said this was her weekend. You see, LAST weekend was my weekend and she told me that she wanted our childrn back on Saturday evening. I brought them to her and told her that I did NOT want to split the same weekend. I explained to her that I only brought them to her last Saturday because I did not want to go back on my word to her. She again huffed, telling me that I am always changing my mind and she doesn't know what to expect.
I responded that all of this information was in e-mail form and asked her if she 1) reads my e-mails and 2) listens to what I SAY during our conversations? She kept ignoring my VERY clear questions and kept asking me what I said in the e-mails. Typical.
I simply told her that I was not going to be a party to an angry conversation and would simply forward a copy of the e-mails to her b/c I have copies of all of them. I think THAT pissed her off too. She really is of the mind that EVERYTHING revolves around her and that I should still be at her "beck-and-call" at all times to make ALL of her desires a reality, even though she regularly tells me she is single!
I am finally standing up for myself and have come to realize that what's right is right. I am a person. I have value. I am NOT a doormat. I am NOT a punching bag. I have rights. I have feelings. I also understand that I can stand up for myself and what is right in a gently assertive manner. I don't have to say yes when I mean no. I don't have to bend to her will. As my MIL always says,
Quote: Say what you mean, just don't say it mean.
Today, I am feeling stronger. Stronger but sadder. My heart aches to be reconciled with my W and re-united with my children. I pray to God everyday to work His will in my life and to help me to see His work and to understand and accept His will if His will doesn't match what I want. That, and I refer to the Serenity Prayer almost daily, especially the line Amy posted:
Quote: God grant me the courage not to give up on what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless. Amen
And remember my fellow DBers:
Quote: If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. -WILLIAM HAZLITT
Believe!
Quote: Whether you think you can or think you can't--you are right. -HENRY FORD
Believe!
And lastly,
Quote: The measure of a man(and woman) is the way s/he bears up under mistortune. -PLUTARCH
Put one foot in front of the other. The sun comes up in the same place every day. Tomorrow is a new day. Keep on keepin' on.
, see I am getting stronger and better). I called her back to listen to her being pissed at me because I keep changing my mind about my schedule with our children.
My heart aches to be reconciled with my W and re-united with my children. I pray to God everyday to work His will in my life and to help me to see His work and to understand and accept His will if His will doesn't match what I want. That, and I refer to the Serenity Prayer almost daily, especially the line Amy posted: