Lee, If you really beleive that H wants to try to fix things and is at a loss as to how, you can help.
1st ask the question directly. If the answer is yes then it is time for both of you to get to work. I like the "Just don't do it" list and the "Do it" list. A good exercise for both of you to develop separate lists and then exchange them. Don't make them long. Limit them to the 5 or so most important items.
This shows where each of you is at and furthermore, it gives both of you the opportunity to prove willingness to do the work.
Just a thought.
Of course if he is not ready, don't waste your time making these lists
