You're both so right. I read your posts a few times to let the wise advice sink in . It is perfect for where I am at right now.
Me2- Your comment about keeping feelings and emotions to myself right now rang true for me, too. LAst week, he purposefully opened the door by saying "you can ask any questions you want from now on and I want to keep the dialogue open" and I just let it sit for afew days. I think I know that he WANTS to do this, but maybe still isn't 100% ready.
So I think about what my questions are. And this will sound silly, but when I WISH I could talk to him, I write an email to him, speaking lovingly and freely, and then I don't send it!
We had such a good time together Monday and Wednesday night that we both backed off a little bit after each. (Regroup??) It makes sense to me, but I found myself feeling low and anticipating another weekend without seeing him. He usually calls me at the end of the day Fridays to connect, and this is really the first weekend since he broke things off with ow (but it's his weekend with his daughter). And I still feel uneasy. So I was scarce yesterday... sent him an ecard for Father's Day with all the reasons I thought he was a good daddy and then didn't talk to him. He was really touched by the card and left me a message. I just wanted to leave it at that for the weekend.
I don't want to think that he'll be talking to her this weekend, but I have come to expect this stuff. I don't know if he'll want to stay friends with her, I think he expects me not to be ok with that, and is one of the reasons he is going slow with me... to let go of her completely on HIS time. I'm not sure of this, but I certainly don't trust her either!!
B- I will try to make your approach my mantra ********************************************* If I had it to do over again, I would do exactly as we discuss here - detach, take care of me, not initiate OR or OW discussions, not snoop, AND MOST OF ALL ACKNOWLEDGE THE THINGS HE WAS DOING RIGHT!! Throughout it all this is the one and only thing he has asked me for - I think it is a biggie!! He has commented several times, he doesn't think what he does will ever be enough! So I got the message, and praise the little things - and wonder of wonders - IT WORKS!! *********************************************
I think I did this ok this week. I had a few chances to "snoop" (ie at his email), but I did NOT. I can honestly say I really didn't want to find anything to hurt me, and it might. And I did tell him what he was doing right. This is a biggie for my H too, he always felt he could do noo right with me.
Thanks for such great support girls! I am so very lucky to have such great new friends!
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