Lee - Great news!! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you. Ain't these feelings just wonderful?! It's amazing what just a slight bit of distancing can do at this point, isn't it? Sounds like you did and are doing just the right amount, keep up the good work!! Let him pursue you, you're worth the effort, and it sounds like he knows it. Glad you took some time for yourself, it gets to be much needed.
It's encouraging he's reading your "after the affair" book. I found out my W's starting to read it also, haven't really talked about it too much yet. I did bookmark a few pages, especially the one about ending the affair. She asked if I did that for her benefit, told her I did it for me, to help me understand what she may be going through. One thing I want to talk to her about is the part where it explains that, most of the time, it might not exactly be love for the OP, but more of a love for the way they felt when they were with them. I want to find out what good feelings she had with him, what things we could do to recreate some of those feelings in OR. Maybe something like this would help you with the "he loves us both" thing?
The positive times do seem to help, seems to make the not-so-positive times shorter and easier to deal with. Keep up the good work, you deserve the happiness!!!
JJ
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