Lee - Sounds to me like you done good. Hard to maintain composure under these circumstances, ain't it? You did well in not showing him your anger. You're trying very, very hard, maybe too hard right now (?). Is it time to back waaaaay off for a bit?
Sounds like your H is talking the talk, but not walking the walk very well. The words coming out of his mouth and his actions seem to be a bit contrary at the moment. Does he, as Kent put it so eloquently to me, have you "gut-hooked"? Does he have ANY fear at all of losing you? You have done a great job of being supportive, and you CAN be proud of yourself. Might it be time to distance yourself a bit more, be more mysterious, less available? Remember, at this point, you don't have to go dark or dim for extended periods of time, a short time will usually do it. Especially for your own piece of mind.
I think if you'd have put your foot down then and there, it may have been interpreted as an ultimatum, and may have back-fired. He knows how you feel about it, now let him deal with it. Sometimes, it can be hard to find the balance between being supportive, and, for a lack of a better term, enabling. Sure, he's going through a lot of pain right now, but, hey, so are you. Don't vent your anger at him, but don't let him off the hook either. If he was really ready to dump the OW, he could have made a different choice about how things went down this weekend.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. Watch what he does, as well as listening to what he says. I don't mean to sound pessimistic. And these aren't all bad things, just part of the process.
Take care of yourself, my friend. It's quite a journey
JJ
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