Ok, I'm going to have to re-read "After the Affair" again.
H is away on business this week, and I'm using the time to adjust my expectations to zero, and refocus my approach to him.
I wrote myself a sticky note that says "What if the next time was the last time?" as a reminder that when I talk to him, that if it were to be the last conversation with him, I would NOT want it to be about my frustration or insecurity but instead, peaceful, loving and friendly.
I got to try it out last night. HE called me at 1 am. And he really didn't sound good. (which worried me) He says he's a mess, just wanted to "connect" with me, and that he loves me. He is having a hard time. And not much more than that.
I tried to be cheery, told him cautiously that I am trying to be understanding, not to pry and to give him the space he needs. Also that I hope he feels he can talk to me, even if he's afraid it will hurt me, because I am his friend. Felt good to say it and mean it, even if I am scared. I admit it.
Anyway, he has clammed up a bit except for these little calls "to connect" and he has backed off a bit, too. Is this part of that withdrawal thing (it's only been 10 days) ???
