Quote: Sorry, but her agreeing not to see this person for a period of three months is NOT ENDING the affair, and that in and of itself should be sending you some clear signals that it's time to see a very good divorce attorney, and when you do, take no prisoners.
I certainly do not feel that not talking to him for 3 months is ending the affair. I even said to her when she told me about this plan, "I don't know if that is a good idea." - because it means she's not intending on ending anything, and "absense makes the heart grow fonder" and all that. I don't know that it is a *bad* idea - I just don't know that it's a good one. (I also have ZERO evidence from previous snooping [note: "previous"] that they even plan on enacting this three month hiatus.)
Quote: If you need to talk about the affair to understand it, then she owes it to you to come completely clean on just went on, and how it happened in the first place. If she's not willing to do that, kick her to the curb.
Like RB said, that's not what DB is about. I'm here to save my marriage, not make a quick decision to divorce, particularly when I've seen others in worse situations that have made it through. Also, believe me, I know quite a lot about the nature of the affair - probably more than she does, since she's deep in fantasy land. I think I'll skip the curb kicking for now and work on divorce busting.
