A differing view...from my perspective, if your wife had and affair that is now known, I think you have EVERY right to know all the dirt, including what took place when she went off to see this person to create the three month cooling off period.
Sorry, but her agreeing not to see this person for a period of three months is NOT ENDING the affair, and that in and of itself should be sending you some clear signals that it's time to see a very good divorce attorney, and when you do, take no prisoners.
If you need to talk about the affair to understand it, then she owes it to you to come completely clean on just went on, and how it happened in the first place. If she's not willing to do that, kick her to the curb.
Today is what counts, so make the most of what you have, rather than regret what might have been.
