As a rule of thumb "no R talk" means no affair talk, never raise the name/issue of the other person (op), never ask what is going on between your w and op - "act as if" the op doesnt exist - because to you he doesn't. He is a symptom of a problem in your marriage that's all. A symptom - like sneezing is to a nose infection.
Most likely she, in her own time, will tell you about what happened on her trip away and you will listen quietly and "validate" what she says. You don't need to agree or disagree with anything she says you just have to let her know it is safe to talk to her.
Hey Calm it's a good idea if you stick to one thread, people will catch up on your thread as they get to know you and it will all be in one place for them to read back over if they need to to offer advice or see where you are coming from.
This is a tough time, but you are doing really well.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
