H got home yesterday, didn't end it with ow (chickened out, basically) but still insists he wants to be with me - he's stressed about how to do it and the intense stuff he's going through around this.
First, I agree with the others - worry about what you can control - your actions. You can't control your H - not directly. He is struggling Lee and the more supportive you are of him, the better. And being supportive is means not adding more pressure.
So I backslid obviously, talked OR again.[/QUOTE]
Don't be so hard on yourself for having an OR talk. I still don't get why everyone here is programmed to think OR's are taboo! Again, it's not what is said, it's how it is said. You said he started with 'lightbulb' moments? Well, then he started the OR, right. Maybe he needs to talk. Just be careful how you respond.
Lee, you say he seems to want to be with you. If you feel it, then let that be comfort to you. You've done things to jolt him (the flowers, etc) and that is good. You've done good! Pat yourself on the back. I myself won't play games but if it works for others, then fine. It's what each one of us can live with.
HE seems sure he wants to be with me, then why doesn't he just do it? [/QUOTE]
Who knows...he is scared? He is confused? Wanting it and being ready to live it might be two separate things. Like the smoker who wnats to quit smoking but doesn't have all the willpower yet. I don't know - just a guess. At least he is trying so it sounds like that will have to do for now. Question is not him but you - how you will handle this. Do you have the patience?
Best of luck Lee. You seem to want him and haven't withdrawn from him. That is good.
