Most of the time... ICK! I admit that at times it's me jumping to conclusions that fires me up but that's also the time when I come to my senses the quickest.
Also, I guess I should explain the reason why I'm back on the forum - Couple of days ago we had an MC session and when we went there the first words out of my H's mouth were how happy he's been for the past 2 weeks (since our last MC session) and how great the life has been. The C wanted to explore the sexuality part more knowing that that's still a sore spot and after all this is why we are paying her- to figure those things out. He got upset that I brought up my physical limitations (not enough lubrication and having to use the artificial kind, occasional painful sex and having to use antiobiotics immediately after to prevent painful UTIs) as something that is still dragging me down - he called them my EXCUSES. Now folks - I said it's was a PART and also said that I know the other part is psychological and that's a part I"m currently addressing. I though we came to understanding that the physical part unfortunatelly is independent of me and the lube, the drugs etc. are there to aid me. But even though he says during the sessions that he has no problem with it, he would constantly ask me do I have to use the extra lube, asking if we could skip it etc. What's the message I'm getting? HE IS NOT OK WITH IT! I told him that I need him to understand my situation and not bring it up again but..... Since that session we barely talk, it seems like we are a pair of roomates that don't even like each other that much, not H and W that are working on M. It's not like any of the things brought up during the session were new...it's not like it was a fight but his reaction to that session was that of the post fight....I can't take it...right now I have only "bad" feelings about him....no love, no lust, no longing. I call him names in my head and I'm physically ill knowing that I have to be under the same roof with him tonight....now that's quite a 180 from when we entered the room for the MC session....
