It's been about 15 months since my H and I reconciled - he was the one who filed for D, he is also the one who after almost 4 months wanted to work on the M (of course initially I was pleading and begging - sounds familiar? ) when I was finally okay with how life was going to be for me from that time on. So here we are.....it took us over 6 months to go back to the MC when old problems were re-surfacing and we finally had to face them. From MC I broke of to also have private sessions with same councelor when all the issues in our M seemed to be created by me.....that's probably the beginning of the big problem I am facing right now. The initial reason for our M falling apart was the inadequate sex life - I thought we addressed it and life went on. Then my H told me he does not like my quick temper by saying that from the moment I moved in with him he was always fearing my "outbreaks" and how it broke his spirit.
That's what I decided to work on in private sessions agreeing that yes - I do have a temper which sometimes gets out of control.
Now we are back to being sexually inadequate. Yup! Since we reconciled I would make it a point to make sure that everything was good in that department. I asked, I got the confirmation time and time again. Until about a month ago. H told me that he is unhappy again and it's again killing his spirit.
Couple of days ago we had a MC session during which we were exploring what possibly might make it difficult for me to be the free spirited lover he wants and is convinced I once was (he is talking about the long distance relationship where we would see each other once every couple of months and all that energy had to be discharged in the couple of days we had and had to last for the couple of months that would be there until we saw each other again). I have been initiating ML, I have been very affectionate physically (hugging, kissing, stroking etc) but his current problem with me is "I have to ask" instead of just do. Here is my problem - It's a baby step I'm taking, that's what makes me feel safer initially but I am not planning to stop there. Here is his problem - too little too late. He wants instant gratification because he lives in the past where he counts the years he spent fighting for our M when I was not even aware (I totally admit to that) that there was a problem with our sex life.

Okay, bottom line is - he has this perfect picture of our M and sex life that I don't think I'll ever be able to live up to - that perfect picture is the time of our long distance relationship....doesn't matter that the life was on hold when we got together, that we had no worries....maybe that's where I just dont get it. Help?