I also like what Zelda said about not being so available....not that you want to start playing some childish game of cat and mouse, but he has to know that you are not such a 'sure thing'. It sure gets their attention when they feel that there might be a little competition.
I also think that your H needs to prove to YOU, not the world because like IMP said it will be obvious, but he needs to prove to you that he is committed to your marriage and is giving up OW-for good...period. Shoudl you get wrapped around the axle about the details of HOW he does this? Only so far as to ensure that he's really ending it-and not just putting it on the back burner.
After all, YOU are the only one he should really be concerned about-sure, OW's feelings will be hurt-and I am sure she cared for him and vice versa (much as THAT sucks)...but I say 'too bad' especially if she knew what she was getting into (i.e., knew he was married)-she has no one to blame but herself-and him.
Maybe going a bit dim and giving him something 'to think about' (Zelda's suggestion-I'd love to hear some ideas!) would be good for now. That would make it easier to hold onto the patience you need to let him come to you.
I'm happy for you tho-you've been thru a lot....be thinking about you!
