I think it IS time for your H to be dam scared. I think more detachment and distancing from you and even the slightest (or blatant?) hint of doubt from you is the kick in the butt he needs.
You've gotten to this place where, even if you don't reconcile, you KNOW you'll be OK. You cannot stay in limbo forever. You've been more patient than should be expected of any married person. I applaud you.
