Where was I. Had to take a little break. I was beginning to feel really down & out, full of lots of negativity and didn't feel like posting. I did take off out of town a couple of times, went to my sisters the last two weekends. I was feeling like it was coming down to an ultimatum and I didn't want to want to do or say anything I'd regret or be viewed as wishy-washy.
I did end up telling SO what I wanted. Well, actually what I didn't want, if that makes sense. Told him that I wasn't expecting him to move back here and us "get back together"; told him I wasn't expecting a marriage proposal. Rather, that I wanted the opportunity for us to spend time together alone (as SO & NM) - I wasn't comfortable with the thought of being out in public with him as his alter ego; that I wanted to spend some time together doing things alone as well as some things as a family and to "see where it goes". After that, while there weren't any real talks, he seems to have softened somewhat. Sharing his work schedule; telling me he's ended working Saturday nights and that would free up some of his time when he doesn't have weddings; also invited me, (yes - actually said "I'd like you to NM") camp out with him & D7 & D3 (in our travel trailer in the back yard, lmao); and included me in plans for the long 4th of July weekend asking me to find something for us to do; invited me to his brothers for a day or two.
Don't know if the invite had anything to do with what I said to him or not, but it's the most he's given me (that is, sharing of future plans) than he has in a long time. Oh, Sunday he actually asked if I wanted to go out and eat with him (which I declined) - that was different from him, too.
Overall, I think it's my own impatience that was driving me. I forget that. I feel like I've been doing this for so long, and now that real patience is required, I have to chill out, just for a bit longer. It's still in the back of my mind to give up and move back to where my family is - but, hey - that option will ALWAYS be there, I suppose. I need to wait a little longer. Easier said than done at times.
The big thing that was revealed by him, and actually, came as no surprise to me because I "knew" this already - his need to be emotionally coddled. He said that I didn't do a very good job of this with him. And, which is exactly what he got from OW. So, this is my current struggle. I admit, I'm daunted (and haunted) by this. Sigh.
Now, for the twist (doesn't it seem like there's always some twist in my sitch!). He's back in the hospital again. Went there during the night. Actually, when he was here yesterday, we talked about it so I wasn't completely surprised when I got the call. I missed his calls from during the night, the phone in the bedroom was unplugged, but heard it early this morning and spoke with him. Sigh. He went to a different hospital this time (one where OW's mother works ), as he wasn't happy with the doctors at the other hospital (plus the fact they released him without doing the tests they had said they were going to do). I hope this hospital does things right.
I know this post doesn't exactly articulate the thoughts in my head, but it's the best I can do right now.
...and, OT - was wondering if you went off and had your baby without telling us! LOL....hadn't seen you posting in a while. Good luck to you & your H when the time comes! Please keep us posted if you can...start a baby thread or something!
I missed his calls from during the night, the phone in the bedroom was unplugged, but heard it early this morning and spoke with him. Sigh. He went to a different hospital this time (one where OW's mother works 
), as he wasn't happy with the doctors at the other hospital (plus the fact they released him without doing the tests they had said they were going to do). I hope this hospital does things right. 
