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It is on your timetable because right now you are OK with giving him more time. If you weren't OK with it, I doubt you would be doing it. You understand that unless he has the space and time to want to come back, then he will never truly understand what he wants for himself. And, for him to figure that out is worth the wait to you. But, I don't get the sense that you ever think of yourself as sitting around waiting forever or even twiddling your thumbs for a couple of years.



To the last sentence - HELL NO! I "waited" through the OW, I think that was different though. He had to get through THAT in order to get back around to us. So, with that knowledge, I was willing to, ahem "wait", for lack of a better word. And now I know I may have to "wait" through some other stuff. But, no I won't wait forever.

And, to clarify....

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BTW, I think I misunderstood something you wrote at the end. I take it that what you really mean is that you asked if you could call SO back because it was a bad time for you but then you wound up staying on the phone with him for another 10 minutes, yes? I bet you were frustrated that you did that.


and

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D7 told him we were getting ready for bed, then he asked to speak with me. I talked to him for a few minutes and asked if I could call him back as the kids were waiting and he said OK.....but then kept talking for another 10 minutes!



Revision: We talked briefly...I said to him "SO, I'm not trying to cut you short or anything, D3 & D7 are upstairs waiting for me. Can I call you back in a little bit?" He said OK...then HE continued to talk, (and, yes, me, too), for another 10 minutes.

And, yes, I was frustrated that I continued to talk with him even though I said I had to go and he seemingly agreed, yet at the same time ignored my request. The whole time he was talking, it was running through my mind that if I say I have to go, it would seem rude or that I didn't care about him or what he was saying. That's what bothered me. Not knowing how to make it known to him that I wanted to keep talking, but that I couldn't at that moment (even though I already HAD told him and he didn't seem to *HEAR* me).

He's so touchy these days about everything I do/say. And, if "ignoring" him led to the OW, good gosh - I don't want to do more of the same. So, I'm trying to learn how to do this.......