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Ok NM, last things first...

Well, I guess if I've made it this far, I can go a little further through these times of confusion. I have to remember that this has to be on HIS timetable and not push.

I wish I had thought of this simple response to OT on my thread. This is my feeling exactly but for some reason, and maybe for both of us, this is wrong? Somehow I don't feel that way.


Actually, I think in my sitch, yes; in yours, a resounding NO. I firmly believe that in your sitch that your W needs (wants?) to be shown you can be passionate.

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As for your "shortness" with him and general moodines, I think maybe you AND I have expectations built up. That's why the phone calls/emails are ok with you. It's because there can BE no more. There can be no opportunity for a goodbye kiss passed on. There can be no sexual tension. There can only be communication, without all the extra stuff like body language and even tone.

I think expectation can be a HUGE downfall for you right now but then again, at some point we should be allowed to have DESIRES and WISHES for our sitch and feel that we deserve to have those things happen. I guess that's where boundaries come in, and where it's up to us to decide if we are going to just wait some more or throw in the towel.



I don't know...I don't really "expect" anything right now. Just kinda waiting and seeing. And I'm OK with that. If him & OW are through, I do not want to push. I understand that he may be feeling things about THAT (ick); plus the added stress of the hospital stay; financial pressures due to lost work; just a whole bunch of crap and right now, I am not going to be the one to be seen negatively or do anything to cause any further undo stress.

I think my shortness had more to do with having the kids 24/7 with no help pretty much for the last seven days. And being cooped up due to the damned rain. And busting the lawn mower the other day and having to tell him. Plus, recognizing what he's going through and trying to be compassionate. Add in my worry about his health, my knowing money is tight - all that...I simply didn't do a good job of filtering it and it came out with me being rude to him.