Re the R talk... Make sure you are very clear about what you are asking for...
If he thinks you are asking for a guarantee that he will stay and never leave you, he'll probably balk -- as he should.
But, if you are asking for a clear message that him moving home is about working on a committed R with you to see where it goes, even though you both know that one of you may still choose to leave if it isn't working, then that is a much more realistic desire.
So, just make sure you get clear in your head first about what will work for you, only you can know that, and then communicate it very very clearly so that he isn't hearing all sorts of things that you aren't saying.
My thought is that you both still need some space even if you are living together again -- his coming home should not feel like an inescapable trap, but rather an opportunity to pursue something wonderful that you both hope will work out, but may not. And, the "may not" really has to be OK for the R to feel like it is developing between two people freely pursuing it.
Anyway, if it is financial, does it really make sense for you and the kids to be the ones to move?
