I suppose I don't have a whole lot to say either way on this, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I believe that you have the strength to do whatever you feel is the best for you.
I guess over the past several months, something I've learned is that while idle, same ole, same ole' R talk is taboo (and believe me, I can definitely see this now....usually its a repetitive game), I think if you truly have something to say then you should set forth how you're feeling. I can understand you wavering on this issue of whether you should let him come back because if it were me, and my W were in the same boat, I too would have these reservations and would definitely be seeking out the motivation behind the move. On the other hand, with him back in the house, it does provide you with even greater opportunities to DB (I had to play devil's advocate).
Quote: Maybe this is just more of me running away, but I don't know. I don't expect much, I just want to either agree to work on things or finally end it once and for all. Am I wrong?
You are not wrong....we all want that sort of "closure" that finally gets the WAS off the fence and back into our hearts.....however, that being said, we will never be able to "force" that decision. It just won't work, no matter how hard we want it too. Sure you can guage whether he's willing to work on things or not, but the truth may be that he's unwilling, or unable to do so. These things can't be rushed I suppose....feelings are feelings, no matter how irrational or irresponsible they may seem to us. Its only when we come to realize that do we establish our boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn't and then move forward from there. If you are unable or unwilling to continue further in the present context of this relationship, then you need to make the decisions to move yourself forward. Only YOU know what it is that you can or cannot accept.
As for the outline of the "talk", I definitely support the idea of cliff notes if you find that you are unable to keep focused.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
