Ouch. Damn, that was a backhand all the way from over here!
Ok, well I guess I am just personalizing my advice to her, as you well pointed out. I have been "living with someone who I unsure of having a R with" for 7 months and so far, so good. I agree that I need to stop coddling my W but I disagree that it's not possible to START in one place and end up somewhere else. I think RB and I are simply saying that he seems to be heading in the right direction and to allow that. You are saying that until all his ducks are in the rows, the specific kind of rows NM wants to see them in, he should not be allowed back. I guess I get that but part of me things there is still wiggle room there.
Maybe that's why I am not making progress. I actually think I am but I can see that my sitch may be stalled out. Again, I attribute that to other things (DUI case) but once that's gone, who knows.
I just think there CAN be pressure applied if he moves back in, but I also understand why you advise her not to let him.
NM, you have a choice to make, one that will require strength no matter what you do. Look within yourself and make the decision YOU feel will allow you to get what YOU want in the long run.
