I think you're making the same mistake as most women (including me) do.
Here is what you say: "If he says he'll go then we'll need to discuss what that means."
That's why men run away from us so often -- if he says he'll go, it means only one thing: he'll go to the wedding. And that's it. As far as I know, men hate conclusions drawn on such simple facts, and that's why they are afraid to move closer -- because very little move can be interpreted as "meaningful" and later they can be held responsible for it.
If he says he'll go, this means only that you will go together -- don't make any far-going conclusions!
But the trick is: Baby steps are those little achievemnts. When there are enough of them, quantity turns into another quality. You don't need to predict where every next positive step should lead -- just let it happen.
