Thanks, Lee. That in fact makes a lot of sense. I've been sitting here thinking the same thing. If we show up at a wedding together it will have to be as a sort of a united front against the world. So I can't detatch for 3 weeks and then go to a wedding with him.
So at this point I'm thinking I should wait until our joint session next Thursday and see what he says. If he says he'll go then we'll need to discuss what that means.
If he doesn't decide to go that is probably the time to detatch big time. Otherwise, I like you, know I will overwhelm him. I probably put him on the spot a little and maybe he'll use this week to look for a reason not to attend, but I have a feeling he won't tell me until counseling. For me, the question of asking him will at least let us broach whether he sees me as only his friend or as possibly his wife/friend.
I think I'll just chill for now. I'm not going to come on too heavily nor say another word about it again until our session.
If he says he wants to go to wedding and not end things with OW, then that's another subject we need to discuss, he sees me as a friend then. If he goes and just won't tell OW, that's not a solution either. We're still in the bubble. He is much more comfortable talking about our OR when the counselor is with us, so I'm going to let her help with this. She has studied under Michele and understands what I'm trying to do, she also asks him hard questions sometimes.
Any other suggestion, I haven't given up on anything and I'm not trying to give him an ultimatum. I'm just trying to change tactics a little and get him to talk about things with me instead of us both avoiding them.
