I haven't forgotten you, just been spending a lot of the past few days thinking about your post and talking to my C about it. The situation I'm in right now is not a good one. I reached my goal of becoming H's best friend, but I feel that has also given him the incorrect assumption that I understand what he's doing with OW and that I'm ok with it on some level. Of course I am not. H is still clueless about a lot of things, though I do see a lot of growth.
But he still lives in that damn bubble where he and I can be best friends, remain married, but each see someone else and everything just stays peachy in oz. C and I discussed that this isn't a healthy situation and it's pretty frustrating for me. The other 3 people in this equation seem content to just wait and wait, but that's not healthy at a certain point either.
H and I are married. Yet we're both seeing other people and having big time relationships with each. Then why the hell are we married? That's not a marriage. The boat needs to get rocked and I think I'm the only one who's strong enough and has the peace of mind and understanding to do. Ah, what a great position that is to be in. C says H has never had any repercussions from this affair yet.
I have added to the confusion by becoming serious with OG too. On one hand, it was just part of getting on with my life after nearly a year. However, I'm still MARRIED and I don't want a divorce. H tells me same thing, he doesn't want a divorce. Well we're not mormons for god's sake.
I was going to take OG to a wedding, basically 'cause I didn't want to go alone. C brought up the fact that that is a major and somewhat ironic event to take someone too. She suggested I ask H to go and see what he says. She then suggested that since I'm starting to feel pressured by OG and frustrated by H that I distance from everything. What do you guys think about asking h to wedding. She said I'd at least have more info on where H stands after he answers (I think he'll say no).
And as C pointed out, how can H be your best friend and be having an affair? That's not a real great friend. I know obvious, but those things get sort of lost in the insanity of it all. I would appreciate some advice. I have come to the point where I have to let H know I'm not ok with affair, although I would like to be his wife/friend, I can't do it with OW with him. That isn't realistic.
THis is suck a crappy position to be in. I have to distance from OG and H.
