Just a quick update. H came over last night and had dinner/movie. We had a great time. I had told him before that I wanted to touch base again in light of our recent joint session, nothing heavy.
So we talked for about an hour before he headed home. We were both very honest with each other in our feelings, which feels so good even when you don't hear exactly what you want. Truth goes a real long way.
He still has a lot of inner growth issues to work on, but for the first time I'm hearing him say sane things. He mentioned last night that he now realizes that we didn't have a bad marriage for the whole 6 years, and that it wasn't all my fault. He also said he's begun to remember that he really did love me and still does and that we had really good times. He seemed confused about why he had forgotten all of that, but I know that's the norm for aliens.
He is activly looking for another job and feels that's the first step he has to take in order to take a step away from the OW if he chooses to do that. He admitted to me that he just couldn't even begin to stay away from her and work on us when he sees her every single day. I worried about that from the first time he said he wanted to try again.
I guess more than anything, even if we don't make it back together, I'm just relieved to see that he is actually starting to view things as a sane person, even saying he was trying to figure out if OW was a rebound relationship from our problems (hello Mcfly?). And for the first time, I feel that he is really listening to what I say, for the past 6 months it's been like talking to a brick wall that can't absorb anything.
I didn't ask him a lot of questions, I mainly told him how I felt. Which seems to bring out more talk in him then pinning him to a specific question. I did tell him that I did not know how to be his best friend and not be his wife at this moment in my life. I don't think I can be that close and yet that far. He understood that I believe and didn't feel like he was being pressured into running with that statement.
