Ok, here's the update, What do you guys think my next step should be?
I went to a joint c session last week with H. Counsler outright asked me, do you want a divorce. I said no. She asked do you want to reconcile. I said that's pretty impossilbe with H still with OW right now. She asked the same questions to H. He too said he wasn't ready to reconcile but didn't want a divorce. He looked straight at me and said I was his very best friend and when he tells me he loves me it's sincere.
He is living in this fantasy that we're going to take this hyatus and then come back together again once this is out of his system. Basically the C reminded us that we're not mormon and we can't do this stage forever. But she also said our situation was very unique and we seem to be handling it well and continue to grow on our own.
I have pretty much backed way off H and I'm letting him do all the initiaing. I really do not think I can just be his best friend and not continuously want more. I will never have any respect for the Ow and if I go on with life and meet someone, not many men are going to be comfortable with me having that tight of an emotional bond with my seperated H and they shouldn't!
OW keeps telling H that she has no problem with us always being best friends and no problem with him not wanting to divorce me. Big time insecurity problem with her in my opinion, that's just bull she's feeding him to keep him.
I don't really feel at this point that I should have to wait for it to be convenient for him. How can I ever trust him again if he doesn't choose to put me first in this? I don't want to be what he was left with when OW dissolved.
Any advice how I can get him off the fence? He's hoping everything will work out like a fairytale and I'm looking at the situation very level headedly and just shaking my head.
Ugh!
[This message has been edited by Saturnh (edited 06-25-2001).]
